10:54 am, by dwidiaz

June, 2009

i miss this. i miss uta, terribly. hm. it was one of the vacation of a life time :)

07:28 pm, by dwidiaz
I don’t cut to kill myself, I cut because I see it as my only option..
Reading some of the stories, really hits home, I see some of the people posting as young as 13 and I think to myself, what reason could they possibly have to cause themselves harm like that, when I was 13, I was still playing with barbie dolls C:
But then I think to myself, to the outside world, I should have no reason to do this either. I have a nice home, with parents that love me, support me and feed me. I have a job, I have amazing friends and I am love with an amazing person.. What they don’t see or hear, are the voices that plag my head, I listen to them constantly, telling me I’m worthless, I’m stupid, I’m fat, I’m ugly.. I can’t kill myself because I don’t have the strength. I just have to live with these voices shouting at me, day in and day out. The blade running across my skin, seeing the touch of blood, calms them for a while, puts them into sleepmode.
I am ashamed of my addiction, and I can truly say I am addicted. When the blood comes through the slices of skin, and the voices die down some, I feel proud that I have in some way controlled my life, that while the voices are quiet, I can have some piece of mind. I hide my scars and my cuts from the people I love most, afraid that if they see my shame, they will run an hide with disgust. My boyfriend doesn’t really understand but he accepts my scars, in the same way that he accepts all of me..
I have been a cutter for around five years now, on and off. At first it started off as something cool that everyone was doing but soon I couldn’t stop. Then the voice followed, so really, I brought them on myself.. Sometimes I can go months without cutting and being able to ignore the quiet voices but then if they sense I’m letting my guard down, up they go, attacking me worse than ever. At one stage, I added new techniques, such as burning to help with the screams, but they never filled the gap. Even as a cutter, if someone close to me cuts or hurts themselves in any way on purpose, they cop a major blow up from me. And I’m okay with being a hypocrite because these people are my lifelines, and I protect them with every ounce of me.

04:36 pm, by dwidiaz 1

islam2011:

Masjids around the world - Set 10

cool

04:00 pm, reblogged  by dwidiaz 44

(Source: faithfulink)

  04:00 pm, reblogged  by dwidiaz 34

I am way too evolved:

  • to drive vehicle
  • to have a relationship
  • to sing properly
  • to memorize the road

12:46 pm, by dwidiaz

Sherlock Holmes to dr. John Watson, about Irene Adler

(A Scandal in Bohemia)


12:22 pm, by dwidiaz

(Source: campfrance)

11:07 am, reblogged  by dwidiaz 56

fmsmag:

Trends @ The Retrosphere - Check Mate: It’s Cool to Be Square

  10:57 am, reblogged  by dwidiaz 2

leilockheart:

Found on - LINK

10:49 am, reblogged  by dwidiaz 4012

Di Malam Hari

“Hai orang yang berselimut (Muhammad), bangunlah (untuk sembahyang) di malam hari, kecuali sedikit (daripadanya), (yaitu) seperdua atau kurangilah dari seperdua itu sedikit, atau lebih dari seperdua itu. Dan bacalah Al Quran itu dengan perlahan-lahan. Sesungguhnya Kami akan menurunkan kepadamu perkataan yang berat. Sesungguhnya bangun di waktu malam adalah lebih tepat (untuk khusyuk) dan bacaan di waktu itu lebih berkesan. Sesungguhnya kamu pada siang hari mempunyai urusan yang panjang (banyak). Sebutlah nama Tuhanmu, dan beribadahlah kepadaNya dengan penuh ketekunan. (Dialah) Tuhan masyrik dan maghrib, tiada Tuhan (yang berhak disembah) melainkan Dia, maka ambillah Dia sebagai pelindung.”

QS Al Muzzammil 1-9

Oke! Solat malam lebih sering. Doakan bisa bangun (which is tidur dulu sih sebaiknya, duh gabisa tiduuuuur). Oke mari berusaha tidur lagi.

Aamiiin.

03:06 am, by dwidiaz

Sifat-sifat orang mu’min

“Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman itu adalah mereka yang apabila disebut nama Allah gemetarlah hati mereka, dan apa bila dibacakan kepada mereka ayat-ayatNya, bertambahlah iman mereka (karenanya) dan kepada Tuhanlah mereka bertawakal. (Yaitu) orang-orang yang mendirikan solat dan menafkahkan sebagian dari rezeki yang Kami berikan kepada mereka. Itulah orang-orang beriman dengan sebenar-benarnya. Mereka akan memperoleh beberapa derajat ketinggian di sisi Tuhannya dan ampunan serta rezeki (nikmat) yang mulia.”

QS: Al Anfaal 2-4

Sedang berusaha meningkatkan keimanan. Doakan.

Aamiin.

02:36 am, by dwidiaz

Ucapan Buruk

“Allah tidak menyukai ucapan buruk, (yang diucapkan) dengan terus terang kecuali oleh orang yang dianiaya. Allah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui.”

QS: An Nisaa’ 148

Sedang berusaha untuk mengurangi marah-marah, mengumpat, dan mengeluh. Doakan.

Aamiin.

02:22 am, by dwidiaz

You don’t want it, until you don’t have it

Right…. I am so human.

01:17 am, by dwidiaz